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Coping with Grief

AcceptanceGrief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthTransformation

Expressing Grief Increases Vitality

Once a week my partner Mark and I meet for a “heart talk”. This is an opportunity for us to discuss vulnerable issues that may have come up for us during the week related to our relationship, usually the types of things that we would prefer to sweep under the carpet. Last week, Mark checked in with me about my work. I had had surgery ten weeks prior to have fibroids removed from my uterus and had allowed my business to drop. Six weeks after my surgery, my business picked back up, but I hadn’t done anything differently to market myself and I still had room for new clients. “Where are you at with your intentions for growing your business?” Mark asked. “But my business is growing!” I responded defensively. “I’m worried if I market my business too much right now, I will become overwhelmed.” Over a year ago, I…
Karen
September 27, 2019
Grief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthTransformation

The Other Side of Grief: Awakening New Possibilities for Living

A lot has happened in my life since my last post, including the dissolution of my 18-year marriage, letting go of my home and most of my possessions, and moving eight times (I am still not settled). The grieving process of “emptying out” as my therapist called it was intense and at times unbearable. Sometimes it felt like the pain would never end. The article below, The Other Side of Grief, offers a brief glimpse into my process and some of the tools that helped me to transform my life. Star-shaped diamonds dance on the surface of the ocean, creating a path of light across the azure waves in front of me to the brilliant warm sun. On either side of the path white spray shoots up from the blow holes of Humpback whales. Sitting atop the cliffs at Eselan, in Big Sur, my eyes scan the ocean in anticipation…
Karen
February 1, 2015
Grief and LossTransformation

Dragonfly Magic: A Gift in the Grieving Process

A large metallic blue-green dragonfly buzzed back and forth again and again. I followed it with my eyes, like watching a tennis match. It was unusual, so I took it as a good sign. Everything was going to be okay. It had been a beautiful Sunday in mid-August and I was sitting in the faded green Adirondack chair in our backyard, in Santa Cruz, CA my head tilted back, soaking up the sun. Relieved to relax for a few minutes, I took several deep breaths. Rennie, my ailing Shepard-mix dog, lay panting heavily next to me. I had helped her outside to go to the bathroom. I stroked the soft fur on her back gently as my fingers glided over her protruding spine. I was attuned to her every breath and movement. Earlier that morning, John had said to me, “It’s time.” We had asked for a sign, something to…
Karen
October 30, 2013
AcceptanceGrief and LossTransformation

Angel on the Other Side

Saying Goodbye to Bucky -  Part Two (Scroll down to previous post for Part One) I thought I would feel relieved after putting Bucky to sleep, but I felt awful. Had he still wanted to live? Did we let him go too soon? Why did this happen this way? I hadn’t been ready to let him go. Perhaps if we had waited, I would have been more prepared. I regretted making such a quick decision. For several mornings, I woke up sick to my stomach. Bucky wasn’t asleep on my meditation chair, but tufts of his fur and fragments of litter were still there. His food dishes and litter box were sitting out. I felt a huge void in our home and couldn’t believe he was actually gone. It was like experiencing a nightmare from which I couldn’t awaken. I was astonished by how deep the pain was. How could…
Karen
November 12, 2012
AcceptanceGrief and Loss

Saying Goodbye to Bucky – Part I

Waking out of a deep sleep, I heard my husband, John, shout, “Karen, you need to get up and see this. Bucky can’t walk.” It can’t be that bad, I’ll just roll over and sleep a little more. “Get up,” he said. “You have to see this.” Grudgingly, I got out of bed and saw that our cat, Bucky kept falling over as he tried to drink from his water bowl. Bucky was 20 years old. Since I never had children, he was my “baby,” sweet, gentle, timid and affectionate. I loved to cuddle with him and pet his soft gray and white fur. As the runt of his litter, Bucky had outlived his brother, Spanky, and his next feline companion, Kitty. He was the least adventurous of them all, although, having moved ten times in his long life, he experienced plenty of adventure. Blind and arthritic, Bucky had recently…
Karen
October 24, 2012
Grief and Loss

7 Healthy Ways to Cope With the Loss of a Loved One

There’s truly nothing worse than experiencing the loss of a loved one. Nothing can prepare you for the immense sadness and pain of saying goodbye to a friend, family, co-worker, or neighbor, but there are ways to help you come to terms with your loss in a healthy, positive manner. If you or someone you know is experiencing bereavement, take a look at these seven healthy ways to cope with the loss of a loved one. (This is a guest post provided by Jena Ellis at LifeInsuranceQuotes.org) Click here to read more...
Karen
September 27, 2012
Grief and LossLiving FullyTransformation

Quantum Leap Healing through Community

Are you someone who has experienced loss? Do you find yourself grieving alone or suppressing your feelings altogether? If so, you may be afraid of burdening friends and family with your grief. Or, perhaps you feel like no one understands what you are going through, so you hide your deepest thoughts and feelings of loss. Nearly two years ago, I found myself feeling stuck, depressed and very alone in my grief related to not being able to have a baby. I had been through an eight-year cycle of hope, despair and loss during which most of my grieving I did alone. Finally, I joined a pregnancy loss support group with five other women, which catapulted my grieving process in three short months to an entirely new level. Not only did I feel witnessed, supported and acknowledged for my loss, but I got in touch with and expressed some deep anger…
Karen
September 22, 2012
Grief and Loss

How to Help When Your Spouse Loses a Parent

The death of a parent is one of the hardest losses in life, and most of us will experience this pain during our lifetimes. When it’s a spouse who has to cope with the grief of losing one of the most important people in his or her life, it can be hard to know how to help. Though the grieving process may last months or even years, these tips will help you comfort your spouse and bring the two of you closer together. This is a guest post offered by Hannah Peterson from LifeInsurance. org. To read the entire article, please click here!
Karen
September 7, 2012
Grief and LossSpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Embrace Grief as an Ally

There are many prophecies about this year, 2012, as it relates to the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe this is a time of great spiritual awakening and the expansion of human consciousness. Others believe we are coming to the end of the world. My experience so far is that of intensity. All that has gone unresolved in my life has surfaced to be healed and transformed during these past six months. In the process, I have opened more fully to embody more of my light. More of me has awakened to the truth of who I am as an infinite spiritual being of love and light. During this time of intensity, many feel an urgency to find and live their purpose. They want to feel that their losses have meaning. Some are choosing to transition and leave the planet. My 97-year-old Grammie died two weeks ago. I just…
Karen
August 14, 2012
Grief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthSpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Grieving: A Catalyst for Spiritual Awakening

The grieving process can be a powerful catalyst for our spiritual awakening. When we experience loss, such as the death of a loved one, we long for the connection we once had. We long for what was that isn’t anymore. In our longing, we are invited to surrender and let go of control of how we think life should have turned out. We are invited into a deeper relationship with the Divine as we let go and trust the great mystery of life. Over the past ten years, I have desired to have a baby but have experienced one early miscarriage after another, with no medical explanation. Each month I become pregnant, I get excited and think, maybe this time! Then, my period comes and I experience grief and despair only to ride the cycle again the following month. The more I allow myself to express my grief and anger,…
Karen
August 3, 2012
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Karen Mehringer, MA, MFT - Grief support, counseling and life coaching in Santa Cruz area.