Sobbing, I exclaimed, “I finally have my life back!”
Sitting on a catamaran on a beach at Mission Bay in San Diego last week, my step-mom, sister, her boyfriend and I took time out to celebrate my brother, Kyle’s life on the anniversary of his death. He had been gone for twelve years now. We talked about what his life might be like if Cystic Fibrosis hadn’t ended it at the early age of fifteen. Would he be married? What type of work would he be doing? What type of person would he be?
As we reminisced, we also spoke out loud what we would want to say to him as if he were sitting right there with us. My response was, “Thank you! You have helped me get my life back.” Since Kyle’s passing, I had often felt his presence in helping me open doors, bringing about opportunities for my business and life. I especially felt he played a huge part in bringing me all of the amazing healing opportunities over the past several months.
A year ago, a medium channeled Kyle for me during a healing session. She shared, “I see him bouncing you on a high board. He wants you to dive off into life, to enjoy yourself and life more fully.” The grief I had carried over his and my father’s deaths and all of the early pregnancy losses over the past nine years had weighed heavily on me. My life force energy had been depleted.
Today, weeks after completing the pregnancy loss therapy group, my energy is at an all time high as I prepare for a major life transition and work hard to re-vitalize my business. I am up every day between 5-6am and need less sleep than I did before. Further, my physical health is stronger. I even have the energy to pursue a long held dream. In just days, I will be moving back to the San Francisco Bay Area, where I grew up.
Preparing for this major life transition has been challenging in many ways…saying goodbye to friends and clients, leaving a place I love for the unknown, organizing all of the logistics, packing, etc. But, I seem to be up for the task as my vital energy continues to carry me forward.
Going through this recent grieving process was not fun and pretty. I felt raw, vulnerable and emotionally drained. It was extremely hard work to release such heavy and painful feelings. But now I am reaping the rewards of my hard work and courage as I have more energy for life. By going through the destruction and chaos of the storm and releasing the old emotions, a huge space has been created for new life to be birthed.