Transforming Grief Blog

Riding the Waves of Change

By Karen Mehringer

Large snow flakes swirled and danced as they floated softly and gently outside my bedroom window. A few seconds passed and they came down hard and fast like rain pellets. Moments later their descent slowed again as they fell steady and straight. Life is akin to the snow flakes – constantly changing. When we flow with life and embrace change rather than resist it, we open ourselves to all of the possibilities available to us. Change then becomes a means of expansion. But first we need to let go of the old, so we can show up fully present – open, ready and available to embrace the new.

When John and I sold our home in Parker, Colorado, we felt sad saying “goodbye”. With the house completely packed, boxes stored in the garage, and only large furniture items remaining, it felt empty inside. Standing in the family room, waiting for the movers to arrive, I stared out the window and cried. I had loved this house for its comfort and beauty and even though this change was for the better, it was hard to let go.

Settling into our new home was an adjustment. Sleeping in our new bedroom […]

By |February 13th, 2011|Transformation|

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Healing Through Intention

By Karen Mehringer
Driving to the emergency room it dawned on me…”Today is the seven-year anniversary of my father’s death.” I thought, “How odd that my sister and I had lunch today and didn’t even acknowledge his anniversary.” Soon after, I glimpsed a sign saying, Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital. I was struck by the coincidence as this is where my brother, Kyle, passed away. Sitting in the emergency room, I was further astonished that I had sat in the same exact room at Stanford Hospital ten years earlier, as Kyle was days away from dying in the adjacent building. Not only that, but a similar complaint brought me there…abdominal pain.

Puzzled, I wondered, “What is this all about?” Two days earlier, my family and I gathered to celebrate Kyle’s ten-year anniversary at an oak tree we planted in his memory. During the ceremony, per the suggestion of a friend, I set my intention to release all of the painful memories stored in my body related to watching Kyle suffer and die. I questioned, “Could my body be reliving the trauma of what I witnessed?” “Maybe the trauma is surfacing now to be released?” And, “What about the reoccurring pain in my abdomen?”

Both […]

Creating Infinite Possibilities in Uncertain Times

by Karen Mehringer

“Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is a tendency when catastrophic events happen for us to get sucked into the drama, fear and negativity. Recalling 9/11, I remember feeling great sadness and shock when listening to the radio and hearing accounts of the many lives that had been affected by this tragedy. At the time, I did not see the events televised, yet I felt the emotions of the collective conscious. I felt fearful, paralyzed and drained of my life force energy.

Currently, as we are undergoing tumultuous and uncertain times with regards to our political and economic climate, it is easy to focus on the negative and to get swallowed up in the chaos and fear. What happens when we become consumed by negativity and fear? A sense of clinging and holding on pervades our thoughts, and a feeling of constriction overcomes our bodies, which subsequently blocks the flow of creation and abundance in our lives. For example, we may worry about […]

By |October 13th, 2008|Personal growth, Transformation|

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Emotional Surrender: Opening to Greater Possibilties, Part II

By Karen Mehringer

What does it mean to surrender? It means to be completely present, open, ready and available for the creative life force to flow through us in any moment. When in this state, our actions are guided by love (spirit) instead of fear (ego) and we are able to experience greater freedom, joy and peace. The following are some of the tools I have used in the process of surrendering and awakening to my heart’s truest desires.

Shift Your Perspective – When we are too attached to an outcome, we fear not having enough or not getting our needs met. In order to surrender, we need to shift our thinking from that of lack to that of abundance. For example, instead of thinking, “My life is incomplete if I can’t have a baby,” practice thinking, “If it’s not meant for me to have a baby, then God/Creator must have some really amazing plans for my life!”

Use Affirmations – If you find your thoughts continually going towards the negative, then practice using affirmations. One of the most healing affirmations is that of self love and acceptance. “I love and accept myself exactly as I am!” Other examples include, “I accept what is;” […]

By |July 10th, 2008|Transformation|

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Emotional Surrender: Opening to Greater Possibilties, Part I

by Karen Mehringer
Sitting in class in 1996 at Seattle Pacific University, my professor had us gather in a circle and share what we considered to be our “role” in life. Surprisingly, what popped out of my mouth was “mommy.” One of the reasons for obtaining a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy was so that I could have a part time private practice and still be a full time mom. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too…to have a fulfilling career in which I could make an income and feel like I was making a difference in other’s lives, while also pursuing my dream of being a mom and raising a family. That was the plan twelve years ago!

Today, as I sit and write this, I am waiting to find out if this “go around” is going to take. Over the last six years, since going off birth control, on many, many  occasions, (at least twenty by now), I have felt my body trying to get pregnant. I frequently feel nauseas and am extremely hungry all the time. (My mother in-law just visited for a week and couldn’t believe how much food I consumed, especially […]

Personal Empowerment:

A Path to Joyful Creation

By Karen Mehringer

Recently, I joined a group of women to journal, meditate and share about our intentions for the New Year. It was suggested that we come up with one or two words to describe our deepest intention underlying all of our desired outcomes. The words that I chose were…“Joyful Creation.” More than anything, I desire to create from a deep place of joy. Inevitably areas of my life where I have not been creating from joy have quickly been revealed to me.
One such area is in my personal relationships when I put others needs before my own, or when I go along with what they want/need and don’t stand up for myself because I fear hurting or disappointing them. As a result, I give my personal power away. My vital life force energy becomes drained, like a battery slowly dying and I am left feeling angry and resentful. This way of relating is based on fear – fear of not being approved of, of not being loved, of being rejected or criticized. Sometimes, it feels easier to not stand up for myself and thus not rock the boat. Many of us were taught to […]