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Transformation

Grief and LossLiving FullySpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Releasing Anger Inviting Aliveness

(Navigating the Decline of My Mom - Story #2) I wake up this morning and am lucid dreaming. In the dream, I feel frustrated and angry, similar to how I feel about my mom’s health decline and impending death. I had wanted to have a temper tantrum at dance church a couple of weeks ago, but held back because I didn’t want to disturb the other dancers. During a phone healing session later in the day, I share about my dream. The healer and I work through issues related to me feeling safe using my voice to express myself. At the end of the session, she suggests I get support to express my rage. She also recommends that I go into nature to do this anger release work. I am staying at a friend’s house where I am surrounded by two acres of trees, water, flowers, bushes. It’s like a…
Karen
April 21, 2020
AcceptanceGrief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthSpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Grounding Meditation for Uncertain Times

If you are like me, you have likely experienced a variety of emotions upon hearing news about the pandemic and directly experiencing the effects of closures, empty grocery store shelves, social isolation, etc. My emotions have run the gamut from shock, fear, grief, depression, to hope for the possibility of a radical awakening and the benefits of slowing down and orienting more fully to what is most important in my life. As an antidote to the roller coaster ride, here is an audio recording of a grounding guided visualization that I frequently do with my clients. I hope that it helps you find your ground and center in the midst of the chaos. I hope that it helps you remember that you are a Being of love and light who has the power to create positive change in your life and in the world. Click here to listen. If you need extra…
Karen
March 18, 2020
Grief and LossTransformation

Grief: The Way Out is In

(Navigating the Decline of My Mom - Story #1) It has been several months since I’ve had a good cry about my mom’s health decline from the effects of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) and Pick’s disease (a form of frontal lobe dementia). Every time I think about her situation, I feel tears rise to the surface. I allow myself to cry briefly but then push my emotions back down, just to get through my day. As a result, I feel depressed and my energy feels heavy. From experience I know I need to release my grief to feel lighter and to be more present in my body and in my life. Over the past few months, it has become more and more challenging for my mom to speak. During my last visit with her at the full-time care facility where she lives, she mumbles her words so much that I…
Karen
February 5, 2020
AcceptanceGrief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthTransformation

Expressing Grief Increases Vitality

Once a week my partner Mark and I meet for a “heart talk”. This is an opportunity for us to discuss vulnerable issues that may have come up for us during the week related to our relationship, usually the types of things that we would prefer to sweep under the carpet. Last week, Mark checked in with me about my work. I had had surgery ten weeks prior to have fibroids removed from my uterus and had allowed my business to drop. Six weeks after my surgery, my business picked back up, but I hadn’t done anything differently to market myself and I still had room for new clients. “Where are you at with your intentions for growing your business?” Mark asked. “But my business is growing!” I responded defensively. “I’m worried if I market my business too much right now, I will become overwhelmed.” Over a year ago, I…
Karen
September 27, 2019
Grief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthSpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Learning to Value Myself

Happy New Year! I love this time of year. The days are getting longer. The busyness of the holidays is behind us. I feel alive with new possibilities and am inspired to create anew. As part of my process in getting clear about what I intend to create in 2018, I took time out to review my growth over the past year. What did I learn in 2017? What did I appreciate about myself? How did I heal and transform? Instead of focusing on my outward accomplishments, I decided to focus on my inner journey. I feel inspired to share the highlights with you as this review process was fortifying and empowering. It helped me to anchor in the changes, and set intentions for continued growth. One of the greatest areas of growth for me this year was learning to value myself more. My nature is to be a peace…
Karen
January 12, 2018
Living FullyTransformation

Dolphin Encounters: A Celebration of Life

For my 50th birthday in February, I decided to gift myself by following one of my long-held dreams…to swim with the dolphins. I don’t recall when this dream originated. It may have formed while sailing for six-months in the South Pacific in 1998. The crew and I had several encounters with dolphins swimming at the bow of our 46-foot sailboat. During our first ocean passage, sailing from Fiji, I felt excited, but also quite nervous. Even though I grew up sailing, I had never been away from the sight of land. As we sailed west towards the crimson sunset, dolphins joined us at the bow of the boat, as if to provide a personal escort for us out to sea. Their presence elicited feelings of deep joy and comfort and my nervousness subsided. Even though the swells were large, I knew we would be safe. The dolphins signaled a good…
Karen
March 28, 2017
Grief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthSpiritual AwakeningTransformation

Coming Alive After Loss

After eating breakfast at the Aquarius restaurant at the Dream Inn, which overlooks the ocean, boardwalk and Wharf in Santa Cruz, my boyfriend Mark and I decided to stroll on the Wharf where “Woodies on the Wharf” was taking place, a car convention featuring more than 200 stylish, pre-1952 “wood-bodied” cars, known as “Woodies”. Walking hand-in-hand we admired these classic cars which have been restored by their caring passionate owners. Each car was unique with varying colors, designs, interior upholsteries and decorative ornaments. A few had the doll "Woody" from the movie Toy Story sitting on the dash or the hood of the car. Some had surf boards on roof racks. The varnished wood was gorgeous and the paint jobs exquisite.  The cars appeared shiny, polished impeccably. I wanted to rub my hands all over them to feel their smoothness on my skin. I barely touched them, though, so as…
Karen
June 30, 2015
Grief and LossLiving FullyPersonal growthTransformation

The Other Side of Grief: Awakening New Possibilities for Living

A lot has happened in my life since my last post, including the dissolution of my 18-year marriage, letting go of my home and most of my possessions, and moving eight times (I am still not settled). The grieving process of “emptying out” as my therapist called it was intense and at times unbearable. Sometimes it felt like the pain would never end. The article below, The Other Side of Grief, offers a brief glimpse into my process and some of the tools that helped me to transform my life. Star-shaped diamonds dance on the surface of the ocean, creating a path of light across the azure waves in front of me to the brilliant warm sun. On either side of the path white spray shoots up from the blow holes of Humpback whales. Sitting atop the cliffs at Eselan, in Big Sur, my eyes scan the ocean in anticipation…
Karen
February 1, 2015
AcceptanceGrief and LossLiving FullyTransformation

Reflections on Grief and Joy

A three-quarter moon glowed pinkish-peach from the rising sun’s reflection on its shadowy surface, as it made its decent towards the horizon. Alone, I stood on the beach taking in the luminescent beauty of the moon, and the glimmering platinum ocean. The early morning light created a symphony of colors as the blue from the sky peaked through the fog, creating a metallic bluish-silver color. The sand was smooth without foot prints, except for the occasional spiky claw print of a seagull. Bundled up with a scarf, hat and jacket on, I walked slowly from one length of the beach to the other, about half a mile, stopping occasionally to take in the quickly changing scenery and watching as the waves gently rolled and crashed. Their sound soothed my broken heart. It had been eight months since I had separated from John, after being married for 17-years. Despite the separation…
Karen
April 18, 2014
Grief and LossTransformation

Dragonfly Magic: A Gift in the Grieving Process

A large metallic blue-green dragonfly buzzed back and forth again and again. I followed it with my eyes, like watching a tennis match. It was unusual, so I took it as a good sign. Everything was going to be okay. It had been a beautiful Sunday in mid-August and I was sitting in the faded green Adirondack chair in our backyard, in Santa Cruz, CA my head tilted back, soaking up the sun. Relieved to relax for a few minutes, I took several deep breaths. Rennie, my ailing Shepard-mix dog, lay panting heavily next to me. I had helped her outside to go to the bathroom. I stroked the soft fur on her back gently as my fingers glided over her protruding spine. I was attuned to her every breath and movement. Earlier that morning, John had said to me, “It’s time.” We had asked for a sign, something to…
Karen
October 30, 2013
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Karen Mehringer, MA, MFT - Grief support, counseling and life coaching in Santa Cruz area.