“Discovering your Groove and creating a luscious life is all about allowing for Grace through your next transition.” – Shann Vander Leek
The sun was an orange ball of fire in the sky as it sank lower over the horizon. I reached the end of the jetty and sat on a large rock to witness its final dip into the ocean. Dolphins surfaced only yards away as they fished for their evening meal. Two sea otters playfully floated on their backs in the harbor entrance where kayaks, fishing boats, outrigger canoes and sail boats entered and exited the marina. My heart filled with gladness and delight as I thought, I am finally home!
It had been an entire year since I first had the revelation…I need to move back to California, to be close to my family. My husband, John, and I had developed a wonderful life in Colorado over the past five years. Further, the cost of living in the Bay Area was much higher and the population more dense. We wondered how we could maintain the laid-back lifestyle we had grown accustomed to and if we would have to compromise our values to live there.
In mid-May, I drove my car out with a load of our belongings and visited the new home we had rented in Menlo Park, just fifteen minutes away from John’s work and my mom’s house. The weather was rainy and gloomy as was my mood after seeing where we would be living. Compared to the property we lived on in Golden, this was going to be a step down in terms of lifestyle, but would cost us about $700 more a month in rent. Feeling the heaviness of disappointment, I cried. What did I expect? This was one of the most expensive places to live in the entire country and one of the reasons we hadn’t moved back to the Bay Area sooner. So, of course we were going to get less for more.
Moving the u-haul out with all of our belongings in June, I settled into our new place and did my best to make it home. Not only was I going to have to get used to getting less for more, but also the busyness and noisiness of the area. As an empath, I experience energies and the energy of this place was intense. Initially, I had a hard time being still and meditating in our new home. Compulsion fueled my movements. Not only was I getting used to this new environment, but I was feeling pressure to get my business going and to find part-time work so we could pay our higher bills.
Unfortunately, only three weeks later, I landed in the hospital with a high fever and infection. While there for ten days, other complications arose, making this the most miserable experience of my life. I was unable to find my spiritual connection and felt completely lost. Further, I hungered for the home we had left, the quiet and stillness of the mountains and being surrounded by nature. Depression set in as my illness lasted for five weeks and I was unable to move forward with my new life.
During the early days of my recovery, we were given notice that our rental property was going into escrow. The new owners planned to demolish the property and build new houses on it within the year. So, we began looking for our next home. We looked north in the wine country. There, we could get more for less and experience a slower paced lifestyle while still being relatively close to my family.
After several job interviews and car trips north, no doors opened. So, we sat down and asked, “What is it that we really want? What makes us feel alive?” Being near the ocean was the answer. Why not check out Santa Cruz, a community only an hour away and right on the coast? The next morning, we took off to explore. There just happened to be an open house for a little cottage, only blocks from the beach and harbor where I grew up sailing as a kid. I grabbed our rental application as we headed out the door. Who knows where this might lead, I thought.
After viewing the cottage and driving around the neighborhood, we were sold. Not only would we be near the ocean, but we would be able to engage in our passions such as surfing and sailing. On Labor Day weekend, we had found our new home and only three weeks later, we are moved and nearly settled. Once we became clear about our heart’s desires, the doors opened quickly and the process flowed.
This transition has been intense and has lasted a lot longer than I could have ever imagined…being in the unknown, letting go of what we loved in Colorado, saying goodbye to friends and clients, adjusting to our new lifestyle, making new friends, starting over with my business. It has been a lot of work. But, in the process, many lessons have emerged.
For example, I have learned about the importance of taking time for integration during transition. When first arriving in California, I had the expectation that I would be able to hit the ground running and dive right into my new life. But, my illness forced me to slow down and stop. In order to adjust to my new life, there was much I needed to let go of such as grief and old limiting beliefs that no longer served me.
Not only were we re-organizing our lives externally, but an internal re-organization and shift needed to happen as well, to make room for the new life we intended to create…a life full of possibilities, passion and vitality.
“A loving journey of transition begins by nurturing self care. If we honor our inner selves we not only live our divine blueprint, we also embrace the richness of humanity as we promote spiritual enlightenment.” – Micheal Teal